25 “dangerous” terrorists were freed by Taliban sympathizers from a prison in Dera Ismail Pakistani, as part of a well planned and timed operation that appeared to be a perfect copy of the recent “pink panther” prison breakout from a Swiss prison just recently. Shahidullah Shahid, Taliban spokesman for the Dera Ismaili Pakistani region of the “long lost and dangerous tribal region of the Talibani” acknowledged that the initial idea for the prison break was the successful operation at the Orbe complex in Switzerland. “I must say we tried to plan the whole thing out, but it really just ended up with a ‘lets meet at 11’ twitter feed, it was ‘byob’ (bring your own bomb) and we just had fun with it” “I would also like to take a moment and point out for special mention the ‘dera ismaili Pakistani Allah Ahkbar grandstanders and glee club’. They always show up for every occasion and never disappoint!”
In addition to the 25 “dangerous” terrorist, approximately 230 other prisoners were also released. Most of the other prisoners, according to sources speaking on condition of anonymity, were low level parking offenders (while there are few cars in the ‘long lost and dangerous tribal regions’, it appears that there is an unwritten law about not leaving your donkey, ox or camel in the same place for over 6 hours, and a hadith of uncertain origins on ‘if you make it you take it’ ).
july 30, 2013