from the desk of Islamic Jihad

Dear Islamic comrades in arms:

It has been decided by the Supreme Council to discontinue the use of the

“SUICIDE YAK” in favor of other more deadly (and certain) modalities.

We applaud the initiative of our Taliban brother in Allah who initially discovered the idea after sitting underneath his yak, close to the tail, and lighting a cigarette. The resulting explosion as the yak passed gas made an immediate martyr of our brother and began the unfortunate start of hundreds of young Muslim driving herds of yaks, cows, sheep and an occasional goat into village and town squares, sitting under them, lifting their tails, and lighting matches.

We applaud in particular Abdulrahman, martyred the moment the lit match brushed ever so slightly against the yaks scrotum.

While we encourage initiative, please forward any new ideas to the Supreme Council before implementation.

oct 14, 2006