Another Prophet Mohamed joke (pbuh)

After a long day of Jihad, the Prophet walks into “Joes”, sits down at the bar, and yells at Joe to bring him the usual. Joe isn’t actually there, but his nephew Burt is. Burt leans over to one of the regulars to ask him what the Prophets ‘usual’ is. Burt looks a little perplexed, but shrugs ‘okay’, gets a large mug, fills it full of beer, sets it in front of Mohamed, takes out a knife and decapitates the Prophet in one smooth stroke. He picks up the stunned bouncing face from the floor and puts it on the beer. Joe walks in at that minute and looking at the mess and his nephew shakes his head asking Burt what happened. Burt turns to his uncle and says “he asked for his usual, and they said his usual was a large beer but to make sure it had a good head on it.’

Remember Molly Norris

A physics joke:
Omar Abdel-Rahman dies and goes to heaven to stand in front of St. Peter and the pearly gates. Omar says to St. Peter “I AM THE BLIND SHAKE AND” and disappears accompanied by the sounds of souls in torment. The angel attending St. Peter looks aghast and asked why he sent the blind shake to hell so fast. St. Peter looks at him and replies “oh, that’s just one of my little quarks”.

Get me to a safe zone, QUICK!

Hillary didn’t win.
Doesn’t everyone understand that the very basis of all the changes that have occurred over the past 8 years is the belief, no the CERTAINTY, that the fact that I can own my pain means that what I want has to not only be acknowledged, but actively catered too.
-How many Woman were terminally offended because the first woman president wasn’t elected. How many of the ‘conversations’ (how do I tell my daughter that she didn’t win?) took place.
-How many people woke up to ‘not the country I: thought I lived in, knew I lived in, was disappointed that I lived in…’
-How many people woke up with a sense of fear, foreboding, fearful foreboding.
-How many people were surprised that every white person is a misogynistic racist jerk. How did they tell their daughters?
-How many people woke up wondering how so many others were so blind and stupid not to be able to see how obvious the choice had been.

The only thing I can do, is tell people to own their pain while they can.
-If you’re a student, tell your professor, teacher that you’re so upset you can’t attend classes or take midterms.
-If you’re the parent of a young child, encourage them to feel lost and forlorn for as long as you can, let them feel lost, because this isn’t the world you expected.
-If you’re a minority or female, march, break (other peoples) things and let everyone know how terribly unfair life is and that you didn’t get your way.
-If you are ? questioning ?, hurry up and use whatever bathroom you want to, because who knows what may happen in the potty in a month or two. It could be devastating. Just devastating.

And finally, remember that people, PEOPLE! owe you the right to own your pain.

If not, then what were the last 8 years about?

Iowa code 718A: you shall not respect the first amendment

(on August 11,2016, Homer Martz was arrested in Iowa for hanging the US flag upside down as a protest, the charge was desecrating the american flag)
It must have been a very slow day when they decided to let Iowa become a part of the United States.
Maybe when they gave them the ‘homeowners association covenant rules and guideline’ they accidentally left out that part that had the little thing called the Constitution and Bill of Rights.
I think that maybe it’s time to designate Iowa as a ‘safe place’, so that when other people in ‘really mean’ states get their feelings hurt, they can go to Iowa because there are no potty mouths or bad people there.
-It is against the law in state of Confusion (otherwise known as Iowa) to “…publicly…satirize,deride or burlesque, either by words or act, flag of the …United States or …flag of this state [iowa].
It is important to point out that while illegal to SATIRIZE the flag, it is apparently legal to SATYRIZE it (leading to the unappetizing picture of the Daughters of the American Revolution frolicking about in Dionysian orgies wrapped in nothing but the staid flag of Iowa to cover their nether regions).
-As reported in “The Messenger” the local paper and stalwart defender of the Constitution, a scathing editorial was noted that stated “Nothing compares to the Iowa state fair, Don’t miss your chance..” (this was actually written before the arrest of Homer Martz for hanging the flag upside down, but it appears to be as scathing an editorial as scathing gets in Iowa.)
-the flag of Iowa (simply a copy of the french flag) with what appears to be an eagle with its head turned and its beak pulling a ribbon adorned with the words ‘our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain” out of its ass.
And finally, kudos to those brave officers who arrested Mr. Martz. They the bastions of law enforcement, reminiscent of those same stalwarts who in the 50’s ‘had to arrest them colored people ’cause it’s agin the law for them to drink from the white peoples drinking fountains. Get along now, ya hear’. Some things don’t change, a case of arrested development?
Let’s run it up the flag-pole and see if anyone salutes?