Jen Psaki
Spokesperson
June 30, 2014
State Department
Daily Presser
(transcript abridged)

Jen- Hi, happy Monday.
Room-“good morning Miss Psaki”
Jen- well, good morning class!
(general laughter)

Some lite housekeeping first, Secretary Kerry will be going to Panama for
(interruption) will he be buying a hat?
Jen-what? Oh, Millard, I’m sorry what?
-will the Secretary be buying a hat- a Panama hat, for his head?
Jen- I’m sure the Secretary will be finding many ways to help support the local economy; I understand he is an avid philatelist.
Room- (gasp)
Jen- he collects stamps people.
Room- (oooh,sorry,oops)
-but Jen, is he going to buy a new hat, to put on his head?
Jen- Millard, what is so important about- oh my, did you get a haircut Millard?
-why yes Jen, I’m surprised you noticed.
Room-(wow, looks nice, styllin’ Millard)
Jen- Lookin’ good MB.

Matt- I got a haircut too.
Jen- and you look adorable too, for the record.
Matt-shucks.
…

Question: the Islamic state of Iraq and levant, the ISIL, now referred to as just the Islamic State, the IS, is it true that internal state documents are just referring to it as ‘the state of confusion’
Room: (chuckle)
Jen: it is true that beyond security and tending to the general welfare one of the primary responsibilities of any state is creating acceptable acronyms and drawing really cool flags. Neither of which that belligerent Islamic tribe creating havoc has done.
Room: (shout out) did you just call the ‘Islamic State’ a Belligerent Islamic Tribe Creating Havoc?
Jen: yes, they are a BITCH.
Room: (guffaws)
…
Question: once again 2 Americans have been arrested and are being threatened with
conviction then trial in North Korea after insulting their leader, Kim Jong-un.
Jen: the official version is that a Christian bible was found in their hotel room
Room: the Gideons perhaps?
Room: (chuckle)
Jen: not likely, and everyone knows how they feel about proselytizing.
Room: and the unofficial version?
Jen: I haven’t really heard that
Room: When Kim Jong asks you if you want to share a little 12 year old, pretend he’s talking about Scotch.
Jen: oh
…
Jen: all right, thanks everyone
Room: “thank you Miss Psaki”
(chuckle)