-The UN Security Council removed Ahmed Idigress Nasreddin from its list of terrorist financiers. Nasreddin mollified the Councils concerns with a written promise to ” Cross my heart and hope to die” but it was with the addition of ” and stick a finger in my eye if I lie” that the reluctant members of the Council were finally convinced of his sincere change of heart.

-The Saudi Interior Ministry arrested 200 with suspected links to Al-Qeada inside the Kingdom.

Upon interrogation though, the Minister discovered that all of the 190 native Saudi thought to be Al-Qaeda sympathizer in the band had surreptitiously allied with the 10 foriegners because they thought they meant the Kingdom harm. The 190 Saudi’s were immediately released with words of praise from the Minister.

-Internet intelligence experts estimate there are over 5600 sites dedicated to the Al-Qaeda ideology currently on the WWW. As the targets of this propaganda are overwhelmingly dissafected teenage youth, the American CIA is evaluating the effectiveness of a viral program that will immediately redirect the monitor to “sexy, American pornagraphy sites” whenever an “Al-Qaeda” site is queeried. According to Cecil Vemerty, Assistant Director of ‘really secret stuff’ “We are just ******* //////** and ******///// to ****** ******* ******** //// with erections”

jan 8, 2008