“It all started with the appointment of Anne Patterson” reports Egyptian specialist Mohammed Al-imentary, sitting professor of the Pharonic chair at Tuttles University in Washington D.C. “In Egyptian type Arabic, the “e” sound in existant unlike in English where the “e” sound is mostly silent. So that an ‘unlettered’ Egyptian would pronounce the name “anneeee Patterson” (with a LONG ‘e’ sound) and the introduction into American linguistic anomalies REALLY became an issue with the possibility of Robert Ford becoming Ambassador”.

“You must remember that while the majority of Egyptians do not understand English, English “catchphrases” have been integrated into the core of Egyptian vocabulary. So that when someone may hear on TV ‘have you driven a FORD lately’, they may take it to mean that the future ambassador is easily swayed. ” what can YOU a-FORD to pay” may be taken to mean to some that the ambassador is open to bribes and scandal. A reference to a mustang as a ‘FORD COUPE’ might be misunderstood as a referral to slang for a ‘coup d’etat’.”

In an exclusive ‘one on one’ with Presidential spokesperson Jaye Carnay, Millard Bunson asked:

“first Jay, is it true that you were made an ‘honorary Lady in Waiting’ to the Queen of England for talking Prince William and Kate out of naming their son ‘Barak’?”

Jay: Millard, please, US- Anglo relations are strong and will remain strong. My possible elevation will have to remain a matter of conjecture.

Millard: So those deliveries of Taffeta to the Carnay household…?

Jay: Ha,Ha, I do look good in taffeta. Next question.

Millard: The nomination of Robert Ford?

Jay: Secretary Kerry has singled out former Ambassador to Syria Ford as being the best representative for America in the area and will propose the Senate confirm him in that position.

Millard: Clearly Kerry considered calling Clinton?

Jay: Senate support seems certain.

Millard: Frequent Ford foibles forcing fresh findings feel foolish?

Jay: Canadian canards create quantum quibbles quickly quashed.

Millard: Possible Patterson posting?

Jay: Anne absolutely advancing assuming agreement.

Millard: thank

Jay: you

aug 10, 2013