At home with Abu Bakr-Al Baghdadi, one on one with Millard Bunson (part 1)

(we meet in progress)
Millard: and entering your study, we see that you have one of the worlds’ preeminent collections of MC Coolidge’s work, on velvet no less, of “dogs praying to Mecca around a poker table”.
Abu: yes Millard, and I am very proud of it. Totaling 9 in all, it also includes the 5 piece ‘dogs doing the Haj’ as celebrated in the old Wahibist tradition.
Millard: ah yes, the beagle trotting around the Kaaba looks almost lifelike! and Coolidge’s small joke with the boxer appearing to sniff the Dobermans butt during ‘ruku’, truly a classic.
Abu: Yes, who says we Muslims can’t have fun. The Prophet, as he was in all things, had the greatest sense of humor of them all. Several instances are reported in the Hadith, and Sura 115 Al-Bundy:
The Prophet and the Companions were sitting around the campfire and the Prophet was relating inspiring stories to stir the hearts of men. Unfortunately, as was his wont, Sayyidina ‘Umar al-Faruq was not paying attention, but kept on getting up to fill his plate with more pieces of barbecued camel. Well, after a while the Prophet grew tired of the interruptions and (it is reported that the Prophet had a mischievous twinkle in his eye) every time ‘Umar got up, started throwing his voice (the Prophet as in all things was an excellent ventriloquist) and as only the Prophet could, making mellifluous sounding fart noises of various degrees, lengths and intensities. ‘Umar was more than a little deaf, as his greatest friend (after the Prophet who as in all things was the best friend a person could have) was Sayyidina ‘AbdurRahman ibn ‘Awf (it was written that Sayyidina ‘Awf could ‘Allah Akbar’ to make the mountains shake and the lions quake). All that ‘Allah Akbar’ing had left ‘Umar deaf in his right ear. The story; the Prophet was making fart noises whenever ‘Umar rose and sat back down again, soon he had all the Companions in tears they were laughing so hard. ‘Umar finally realized the fun that was being had at his expense, and the Prophet, to help cover ‘Umar’s embarrassment, delivered that famous Hadith “that everyone who is eating camel meat should perform a new ablution.” Of course everyone had eaten camel meat that night, and so all the Companions got up (including the Prophet, to show there was no hard feelings) and slapping ‘Umar on the back with friendly banter, went off to wash. Needless to say, ‘Umar did not interrupt the Prophet again!

Millard: and is that why

Abu: yes Millard, that is the reason why on every devout Muslims smart phone, you will indeed find a 99 cent app for making fart noises,

Millard: well now isn’t that

Abu: “PPPPPHHHHHHHHHHT!” please don’t interrupt Millard.

Millard: ha ha ha.

(to be continued)