The daily press briefer, standing in for…

Mill Baher

Department Spokesman

Daily Press Briefing

Washington DC

May 26, 2009


12:12 p.m. EDT

Question: where’s Ian today.

Bill: I’m guest hosting for Ian Kelly today, I guess I should start with “oops, I said good afternoon instead of good morning (laughter)”

Question: so “mill baher” (snicker, snicker) are you going to brief us on Korea today?

Bill: Mm-Hmmmmm (laughter), yep, first thing we have to report is changing of the name of international talks concerning the Korean issue. Everyone knows that the “six party” talks haven’t gone anywhere. As of today, they are officially going to be known as the “six-pack” talks. We tried to solve the problems with some sober thinking and dialogue, and where has it got us? ERRRRRRRP! Now we’ll try the other way.

Question: what will the ‘brew de jour’ be? an american domestic (chuckle)?

Bill: in keeping with the international flavor and arms control motif it will probably be a german pilsner (guffaw).

Question: considering the recent failure of the President in his attempt to close Gitmo, what do you think the administrations plans are for success in this arena?

Bill: solid question Stewi: if the President has learned anything recently, it’s that the Congress, and the american people will not support anything that is not detailed out in a plan. A plan with a beginning, a middle, and an end. Unlike his little ‘faux pas’ in his attempt to ‘close Gitmo'(air quotes), if the President decided that we need to ‘close North Korea'(air quotes)(snicker, snicker) he would certainly have all the pieces in place before taking the Koreans into bankruptcy.

Question: is it possible that..

Bill: you’re reading my mind, don’t blush (laughter). Everyone knows how tough it is to get out of North Korea, so yes, it is possible that the guantanamo prisoners could be moved to Korea after the North Koreans…

Question: but who would take the North Koreans?

Bill: the President has already been in contact with several leaders. The French have said they could take at least 20 or 30 of the pretty ones. Several of the Scandinavian and Dutch countries have offered positions, many positions, for ‘a bunch’, and we here in america can handle the rest. Not in MY neighborhood of course (generous laughter).

Thanks everybody, you were a great audience.

(the briefing was concluded at 12:13 p.m.)

may 26, 2009