intelligence chatter

CIA: Security concerns are keeping Usama bin Laden from being

as proactive as he has been in the past. A fiercly anticipated

video in light of the new US presidential elections and the

apparent swing in sentiment in the US has not yet come to light.

CIA Pakistan Bureau Chief “Binky” Shabut Binkleman

(email: reports that the two known Al Quada

video studios have been under surviellance.

“We know who and what we’re looking for. We have reports that

Usama is travelling in disguise and going by the name ‘Ursula’.

It’s not something our Al Quada informants like to talk about,

but apparently it’s getting more difficult to get Usama out of

the burka. He’s starting to cry out and cover whenever a man

enters his room. Maybe that’s why we haven’t seen any recent videos?”

CSIS: What could be tipping the “centrifuge to the boiling point” is

the apparent completion of the first batch of enriched iranium.

“Distilled from the very souls of the anguish of the oppression

of our peoples” Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad stated

that this little known element was now the centerpiece of his

nations hopes and ambitions.

Both American and Isreali intelligence assets are frantically

engaged in trying to find any information on this new element.

Comment from American intelligence assets consisted of

one “hrumph” and several “guffaws”.

nov 14, 2008