email intercept from Rahm Emanuel to Staff:

“Double super secret!

Draft:

Current discussions between the President and the Congressional leadership on America’s response to the recent nuclear test and short range missile test of the Republic of Korea. The President, Mr. Reid and Madame Pelosi, in realizing that “we have met the enemy and he is us”, after frumious episodes of negotiations with

Kim Jong-il leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, and many hours of fawning and handholding with our European allies, have decided that there is only one truly novel solution that is enigmatic enough to interest the wiley Koreans and satisfy the democratic base’s concern of America’s complicity in its own downfall:

The President of the United States, with endorsement of both Leaders of the House and Senate, along with the International community, will place in nomination the name of Kim Jong-il for the position of Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States of America.

Rahm-“without a doubt Kim fulfulls the Presidents requirement for someone with ‘practical world experience’, and at the same time the best way to get a foreign leader to understand the American way of life is to get him a real time civics lesson.”

Harry-“we have a pretty good idea that Mr. Kim is to the left enough to satisfy our base, and is definitely to the right enough for the republicans, and is fascist enough for the independents. He does seem to be a true man of the people”

Speaker-“the important thing is that the rest of the world thinks this is the right thing to do”

In anticipation of the announcement, press secretary Robert Gibbs remarked ‘are we going to insist he give up his day job?’

more to come

may 25, 2009