Annuals of the WaPo

‘Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful’

‘Laylor Torenz’

VA Medical Center:

Ann– We’d like to thank everyone for showing up today,

T,L: HELLO!?

Ann– I’m sorry miss, this meeting is for veterans.

T,L: Yes I know. I’m not a veteran, but I’m, um, ‘Laylor Torenz’. I have SUCH TERRIBLE ptsd and I thought that sharing my story with those with less acute cases might help them recover faster.

Ann– I’m sorry, but this IS for veterans who

T,L: I KNOW. I HEARD YOU. BUT MY PTSD IS SO, SO SO TERRIBLE. How could it NOT help these poor unfortunates.

Could you move that persons, I’m sorry I don’t know what your pronoun is, stretcher out of the way so I can sit.

Can you move the ventilator please, it’s exhaling all over me? (shiver) Thank you.

HI, I’m, um. Laylor Torenz and I have terrible ptsd.

Aren’t they supposed to say ‘HI TAYLOR’ um, ‘hi LAYLOR’ back to me?

Ann– I’m going to have to ask you to leave

T,L: I KNOW, I KNOW. I have to leave ALL MY PRECONCEPTIONS of how terrible my ptsd is and the terrible effects it’s having on my personal life OUTSIDE in the hall when I walk through the door.

(CLACK)

T,L: OHMY! Don’t you know how triggering that is? Please ask that person to hold onto their crutches a LITTLE-MORE-SECURELY?

It’s not like you’re missing BOTH your arms.

Back to MY story.

I MAY BE a world famous, oh, you might call me a ‘personality’.  Yes I, OH MY GOD!

Could you PLEASE ask that person to turn to the right. They don’t have a face and I can’t think when I have to look at them.

Give me a moment.

(turns her chair).

T,L: OH! Yuck!

Why is THAT person turning blue?

What are they trying to say?

MY ptsd is terrible and I CAN STILL TALK.

CAN-I-HELP-YOU?

Joe– you

T,L: YOU…?

Joe– are (weeze)

T,L: YOU ARE…?

Joe– onmy

T,L: YOU ARE OMMY? No I’m not your MOMMY, but what can mommy do for you?

Joe– oxy…

Chuck– Damn IDIOT you’re on his oxygen line!

T,L: WHAT DID YOU SAY.

Chuck– I’m sorry ‘Laylor’, My name is Chuck, I have ptsd. You say ‘HI CHUCK’. I say, I don’t have any LEGS. Else I’d walk over and kick your BUTT off of Joes OXYGEN LINE.

T,L: Well, you’re aggressive. I MOVED. See. ‘JOE’ is not blue anymore. And I WORKED with a man named CHUCK who, I can say it now, there were so many, many, many microaggressions that it literally took weeks of therapy for me to realize how bad they were.

I couldn’t have said that last year.

AM-I-HELPING-ANY-OF-YOU-YET?

‘Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding’.

Oh. I’m sorry. I don’t have any more time. I have a selfie that has to be posted at 12, I’m very secure in my beauty.

NOW.

Before I was so harassed for my looks that I wished for so long that I wasn’t so talented AND beautiful.

I’m better now.

I hope you all learned that just because you AREN’T beautiful and have NO talent you don’t need ptsd because no one will harass you for it.

I have SOME pull in, the media, and I’ll see if we can’t do a special or something like that on people with no chances who are really okay with it?

Thank you.

I’m ‘Laylor Torenz’. Bye.

“SCREECH. SCREECH. SCREECH.”

Oops.

Didn’t I ask someone to move that ventilator? Someone should plug it back in.