Inside the “war room” the powers that be hash out the new strategy for lagging front runner. HRC (Her Royal Candidateness) is in “full battle mode”.
Adviser 1-We need to find a way to get you connected with the younger crowd, the “O” man is killing us!
Adviser 2- How’s this, we get you and Bill on a late night talk show, Bill plays the sax while YOU smile and clap in time. Because you were there, we can spin it so that YOU were playing it also! Kids these days love musicians. So they should love YOU!
Adviser 3–Mines better: we get some kid in the audience to shout out “boxer’s or briefs?”, kids love that underwear stuff!
Adviser 2-Do we have time for quick trip over to Ireland? Just a quick day thing huh? We could get pictures of you looking concerned standing outside a pub, or a Starbucks would be even better! And that would translate into a whole load of diplomacy credentials. Kids would love the combo of diplomacy and Latte, or we could even morph it into a whole “pub and spring break thing”, kids love the pub and spring break thing.
Adviser 1-wait wait wait wait wait! Chelsea is really looking cute these days. Kids really love the cute look thing, and maybe she could go on the VIEW and talk about being cute in New Hampshire? Kids would love it! And then they would love you!
Adviser 3-And we have to get you out there tomorrow talking about how you were young once. And maybe if you’re elected that’ll make you young again! Your mother could go with you and tell how much of a rebel you are NOW because you act so young. Kids’ll love it because they’ll know you can relate then.
Adviser 2-And it would really help if you could get hassled by the “man” for something too. Street Cred’s, that would give you street cred’s. Can we schedule that on this short notice? No?
Adviser 1- Maybe we could sneak your name in the Mitchell report, “unnamed sources…”. Huh, how bout that?
Adviser 2-NO, that’s to old for “kid stuff”. Maybe we could get you in to see Brittany. Kid’s would love it if you could help Brittany!
Adviser 3- That’s it! Then you, Brittany and Chelsea can all go out and get a tattoo!
The kids’ll love it and you’ll take all the momentum away from the “O” man.
jan 5, 2008